This post, while extremely personal to my health journey, will also show you exactly why you should trust God in every situation, even if you’re in a waiting season. If you need proof that God is who He says He is, this is for you!
I have been having many low blood sugar issues as of late. This is not uncommon for someone who suffers from an ED, but the feeling of those drops has been one of the scariest medical experiences I’ve had to date. They hit me out of absolutely nowhere, and before I know it, my blood sugar is at 35. Because of this, I decided to go to the doctor. Once I tell my doctor my symptoms, she hits me with the possibility of a rare tumor. Of course, I, having extreme health anxiety, blocked the name of this tumor from my mind because I knew if I remembered it, I would look up the symptoms. After reviewing my doctor’s notes, I now realize it was insulinoma.
The word “tumor” is possibly the scariest word to hear for anyone. It comes with uncertainty, tests, anxiety, tears, etc. I had multiple blood tests done that day and was in absolute shambles, leaving my doctor's office, which continued for the next few days. I even had to teach youth that same night😅 My life felt like it had stopped like time stood still. I had already planned my funeral, willed out my things, and all the other doomsday prep I could do. After my brain had calmed down, I sat down with God. I told Him how scared I was, begged Him for my tests to come back normal, and begged to bring me a way to feel peace.
That next day, I had an appointment with my therapist, who pulled me right out of this panic and encouraged me to turn to my passions in times of uncertainty to distract my mind. So, of course, I turned to God and got into His word. I filmed some TikTok videos, wrote a blog post, and stayed as close to God as possible. That is where I found peace.
Peace in the waiting is one of the most complex parts of being a Christian. It is so hard to fully give God something life-altering, but had I not, I would have spiraled for days!
Waiting is hard, especially when we’re waiting during times of uncertainty, crisis, or even excitement. We live in a world of instant gratification, so we expect results the right way. Because of this, we forget that God’s timing isn’t always going to be instant. We forget that in Ecclesiastes 3:1, the Bible clearly says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” God works all things for our good in His perfect timing.
Patience and waiting is something I struggle with quite a bit as someone with such prevalent anxiety/panic and OCD. Through this, God taught me to put all my trust and faith in Him that He would provide a way. I had even gotten to the point that I was content with whatever outcome because I knew it was God’s plan. Now, I can very excitedly say that all my lab results came back normal!! Though I found out that I do unfortunately suffer from Hypoglycemia, I am so grateful for this outcome! I know not everyone gets the same result.
If you are struggling in the waiting, this is your sign to seek patience and peace. Without God, we cannot obtain peace in situations far from it. Because of God’s love for us, we have the opportunity to give Him our burdens and our restlessness. You can find peace in the most challenging situations! Give God what is burdening your heart today!
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